Listening to your Life

I love to read anything by Frederick Buechner. He can make theology seem as rational and easy as ABC. In his book of meditations, LISTENING TO YOUR LIFE, check out November 20 on Forgiveness:

When somebody you've wronged forgives you, you're spared the dull and self-diminishing throb of a guilty conscience. When you forgive somebody who has wronged you, you're spared the dismal corrosion of bitterness and wounded pride. For both parties, forgiveness means the freedom again to be at peace inside their own skins and to be glad in each other's presence.

This quote explains my feelings about my sister and our estrangement. I helped her get thru the deaths of her husband and her daughter, both within a 4 month period, moved down to Charleston and stayed over three months and then one night, she said that her daughter was coming in to discuss some private issues and I would have to stay somewhere else. Where was this daughter during the last three months--not down at her mother's house! But regardless, how could my own sister ask me to leave the house because her daughter wanted to talk privately. I know about wounded pride first hand as of that night. I wish I could forgive so I would be happy to see my sister again. But I am not there yet! When I think of the humiliation I felt that was unjustified I get angry again. And again.