Laying Out a Fleece

I wrote last week about laying out a fleece before my birthday to see if anyone in my family reached out to me in forgiveness. I kept track. The Lord did for me far over my expectation as always and far different than I could imagine.

I asked for forgiveness from family but the four areas from which I sought forgiveness were family, Bill Stacy, the lst Baptist Church, and the Administration of Southeast. I kept my eye on the family and the cards, calls and emails came in: My sister, Jennie; my nieces, Betty Ann Warford and her children, Amanda, and Elliott; my nieces, Susan Brown and Catherine Bird. Then I heard from Jamie Shelby's children: James, Daniel, and Janice. My niece, Amy Galemore, and I received an email from my niece Leigh Hammond. I did not hear from other siblings but this was a wonderful response of healing especially from Leigh and from Jamee's children. It would have been the fleece I sought that said that forgiveness was possible.

But then I received a card from the President of the University and his press person invited me for lunch. The alumni director came by with a card and I got a card signedby everyone in the Development staff.

I also asked Judi Hutson, who sent me an email, if I could go to church with her, which I did, and the congregation blocked the aisles to speak to me.

I felt the fleece of forgiveness far more than I intended by the piercing of my heart to let by gones be bygones whenever they emerged their unforgiving heart. I responded to the 94 visits, calls, emails personally and I really wanted to go to church. I laughed around with the President letting him know that I carried no hard feelings. This was a good sign to me.

Sandi Patty- Living on the Edge

I recently reviewed Sandy Patty's book and liked her comments on forgiveness. I figured she knew a great deal about it since she had trouble with men and there was talk about adultery and etc. At the time it was a scandal in religious circles. I always assume that someone who has been through the mill knows something about forgiveness from both sides of the circle. She says:

"It's God's grace, his promise to forgive us when we ask, that lets us live life on the edge..Choosing to accept forgiveness and take advantage of a do-over means we have to change.

I handwrote in my trusty notebook that my fleece takes me wherever God wants me to go. I had another episode with family about my daughter taking a brass bed from her Uncle Jim --one that had caused immeasurable damage already since one sister wanted it for her granddaughter and Jim did not want her to have it so it was literally taken off the truck. I don't know if there was talk about this and I did not stay around to hear about it.

My birthday is Friday and I am keeping away from all sides. It is my prayer that the family will reach out to me and seek conciliation. I need to be inactive and placid in all of this. I have tried to send branches of peace but this time, I sense God's presence and seek peace. When I try to do it all, it is an uneasy peace. Somehow, I know, intuitively that there are people who are God's hands in this world who are members of this family which is crumbling. I shall put out this fleece like Gideon and wait.

Right after I made this decision, Susan Burton called me from the office. I have not heard from her since I retired. We have definitely been at odds and this telephone call was a sign, to me, that God was already working on me and my situation. Not in the way I intended but in his Way, which I had not foreseen. It, to me, was a fleece which could not be denied.

John MacArthur, The Jesus you Can't Ignore

This is not a book I would choose to read for myself. I am reviewing it for Thomas Nelson, but I am also reading what he says about forgiveness.He talks in one chapter about Unforgiveable sin which we know is the sin of blasphemy. From childhood this is the standard deal--it happens when one has gone so far in denial that they can't turn back. MacArthur makes a couple of points that I like:

Jesus emphatically states that the severity of sin never hinders God's forgiveness. (Matthew 12:31) Jesus forgave every manner of sin including the people who put him on a cross. And the thief hanging next to him.