On My Daughter's Recommendation

Last week I was talking to my daughter, Sara, on the phone about forgiveness and my blogging. It is not a subject I discuss often with her because my primary target for unforgiveness arrows is is her father and she oozes with loyalty for him. Both of us are well aware that a wedding is coming up for her daughter we will go through the awkwardness of grandparents who choose not to speak to each other.

Sara teaches Sunday School and takes it very seriously. She asked me to order a copy of the book, "The Bait of Satan" by John Bevere. I agreed to do this. When it came this morning, I opened it quickly to see if there was something that she hoped that I would automatically be drawn to. I found a chapter called "Forgiveness: You Don't Give--You Don't Get." This had to be what she had in mind. So I turned to page 121.

The author begins the chapter with the idea that we are constantly saying things we don't mean in order to cope with the moment. He then says that Jesus said one thing often in the Bible. One example is "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (Matt. 6:14-15)

If I had to pick one line from the chapter that I underlined it is the advice the author gave to one of his parishioners who could not forgive her husband for his cruelty to her: "You cannot forgive him in your own strength. You must take this before God and first ask God to forgive you. Then you can forgive your husband."

I made up my mind that I will pray every day until the wedding for my own forgiveness. I will pray to be released from my anger which escalates from the minute I see him until he leaves my sight. I don't owe that to him; I owe that to me and to Sara who teaches Sunday School.